Day 3. April 27, 2012
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Alright well, this will be a lengthy one, guys and girls who would like to listen.
I grew up in a home where drugs and alcohol were abused regularly, by my father. The story of my father, the drugs he abused, and how he is doing is a story for another time, but let me just say he has been drug free for 7 years and sober from alcohol for three. Mind you, he made mistakes, and I never stopped loving him, ever. I forgave him for everything.
Being the person that I am, I feel that you always deserve a chance to better things. We, as humans, make mistakes. That’s a part of life, making mistakes. When I was a kid, speaking of my father’s drug addictions was unspeakable. I thought it was a bad thing to come from a broken home. I was ashamed to tell people that my father was a crackhead, that he was depressed, that he was present, but not mentally.
But what hurt more than that, was my father was dying. Psychically and mentally.
What people neglect to understand about drug addicts is the amount of pain THEIR going through. Sure, it hurt so much to watch my dad stumble down a broken road, but I will never forget looking into his eyes, and seeing a hunger for substance, and a complete emptiness for living unless he was being fueled by his demons.
I wasn’t so much ashamed of my father, more disappointed in myself for not being able to do a damn thing to stop it. I fucking love that man, and I did everything a small child could to stop him from ending his life.
Imagine being 7 years old and trying to figure out a way to stop your father from shooting himself?
Not easy, my friends.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, drugs and alcohol, were a blessing in my life. My father is now a happy, clean man. I can look into his eyes and see a reason to live.
I learned a hard lesson, and I steer clear of drugs and alcohol, but I feel blessed to have experienced those demons that belonged to my father.
Because if I never experienced them the way I did, maybe it could been me in my father’s shoes.
So before you judge him, realize that addiction is fucking hard. Don’t do the drugs, and you wont get addicted. and never make fun of an addict, because that’s stupid as fuck.